You know you've Done It...

I know you have... you know you have. Whether you choose to admit it or not. We all have our moments... you're thinking of it now... and even though you were only 7 years old and weren't aware of the social stigma escorted by "girl bowl cuts" and pleated, stone washed jeans... your cheeks flush at the thought... at such blissfully embarassing moments.

I've had my fair share... being the middle kid of 5 children... I deem the following appropriate and somewhat entertaining enough to share with you all...

Road trips. You act like they were such wonderful... bonding family experiences... but who truly enjoys them? You can't play highway bingo forever... especially in Kansas... in fact you have no chance in winning that game ever in Kansas... because you'll never be so lucky as to find... a box of cheetohs on the side of the road... a wandering kite... living vegetation of any sort... etc etc

My point; you must occupy yourself... of which I am quite experienced. So of course I resort to the sugar encrusted Krispy Kreme napkin chillin halfway under my yellow school bus hi-tops to do the job. I then proceeded to rip the napkin in small pieces, roll it into a ball, and then shove it into my nostrils... it seemed a good idea at the time. Don't hate. Besides my older brother and sister only encouraged the festivities... remember they were subject to the same never ending highway bingo...
i would shove one in... plug the other side... and blast it out... mmmm... delicious. Of course... the stakes are raised and I am faced with a new challenge... one that I must accept to maintain any sort of sanity on this family adventure.
Two wads at a time? How bout three? Or even four? Oh yeah, bingo's on the floor... we're not playing around anymore.... this is for real. I blasted out four wads from my left nostril like a droopy eyed Bassett Hound hot on the trail of some vermin... Five? No biggie. Ripped five pieces... systematically rolled them each up (I'd say a quarter inch each)... yawning all the while... like this was nothing but a habitual "family vacation" pastime... lined em all up in the right nostril... ready for launch... one problem... we hit a bump (or perhaps an armadillo?) in the road... I naturally sniff in with all my might. I'm done... instant cloggage...
To shorten this already painfully long story...
my mom did the whole, dramatic swerve and pull over thing.... of course cranked my seat back... full recline... and wedged her pointy pinky nail in my distressed 7 yr old nostril.
Blood. Snot. Tears. Five hours and one hospital trip later... I am free from my self inflicted Krispy Kreme bondage. Thank God.

Word to the wise... don't put foreign objects in your nose. Save yourself... just go ahead and play bingo.